Sometimes, doing what’s right for you–like standing up for yourself and setting boundaries–is going to upset others, even those closest to you. Do it anyway. Take care of your peace.

If you’re new to setting boundaries, the process can feel clunky and messy. Before you can think clearly, you might blurt something out in the heat of the moment. If that happens, own it. Apologize for the delivery, take responsibility for your emotional outburst, and work to clarify your intent. It’s essential for your own mental health to address these moments. However, remember this, if someone can’t or won’t accept your apology, they are unlikely to respect your boundary—no matter how eloquently it was expressed.

Sometimes, the people you care about may view your boundaries as a threat. They might respond with hurtful words or actions, even retaliation. This will hurt. But it doesn’t mean your boundary was wrong. In fact, it’s often a confirmation that it was necessary.

Binge-Watching for Self-Preservation

Recently, I binge-watched season three of Ted Lasso. If you are unfamiliar with the Apple TV series, it does a great job highlighting the importance and impact of kindness, self-awareness, and acceptance. Episode 7, The Strings that Bind Us, really stood out to me.

In this episode, Nigerian footballer, Sam Obisanya, is deeply hurt and palpably torn between sadness and anger over a troubling situation. His wise father says somethings that are so profound:

“Anger will only weaken you.

If you really want to piss off the people who did this, forgive them.

Forgive them.

Don’t fight back, fight forward.”

These words struck me. They reminded me that anger, while valid, can drain our energy if it becomes our only focus. Forgiveness, on the other hand, offers a path to reclaim our power and moves us forward.

Anger as Energy

Anger is a natural, important emotion. It often pushes us to act, helping us address harmful behaviors to protect ourselves. Setting boundaries is an action that channels that energy constructively shielding our peace and safeguarding our well-being.

But here’s the hard truth, you can’t control how others will react to your boundaries. Some people may avoid you, dismiss your efforts, or lash out with hurtful words, blaming you for their behaviors. It’s important to remember, you’re not setting boundaries for them, you’re setting them for yourself.

Receiving Unconditional Love

True connection comes when someone shows up for you without being asked—when they see and understand your needs, even when you have nothing to give in return. Those are your people. Let them in. Let them care for you. That’s what unconditional love looks like—selfless, supportive, and free of expectations.

In contrast, transactional relationships—where support is only given with the expectation of something in return—can be deeply painful to recognize. If you find yourself in such a dynamic, ask yourself: Is this the type of relationship I deserve?

Setting boundaries is key to protecting your peace and creating space for unconditional love in your life. Boundaries help you separate relationships that nourish you from those that drain you. They make it clear that you are worthy of love and respect, not because of what you can offer, but simply because of who you are.

When you let go of relationships bound by conditions and embrace those rooted in mutual care and respect, you honor your growth and well-being. Surround yourself with people who value your boundaries and celebrate your journey. Release the strings that were never meant to hold you back and move forward with peace in your heart.

Some things to check out this week:

“Be a Goldfish” – Why Ted Lasso is the Ultimate Leader Spoiler alert: it’s empathy, optimism, humility, adaptability, and strong communication.

Best book recommendation for navigating family boundaries Drama Free by Nedra Tawwab.

4 awesome playlists by Marcie Alvis Walker for Thanksgiving or any special occasion