January has finally come to an end, and I can’t help but reflect on how much emotional weight this past month has carried for so many. The constant stream of news headlines fuels collective anxiety, while social media amplifies dominant narratives that leave so many feeling trapped in a story they didn’t write—one they can’t seem to escape.

Lately, I’ve been sitting with a question: What if the stories we tell ourselves aren’t the full truth?

So many of us walk through life believing that our struggles define us—that anxiety, self-doubt, or past pain are permanent parts of our identity. But what if those are just chapters, not the whole book?

I recently read a piece in the LA Times discussing research on the inverse relationship between anxiety and creativity. Essentially, when one is active, the other quiets. That discovery resonated with me because creativity—especially storytelling and journaling—has always been my antidote to anxiety. The stories we tell ourselves shape our experiences, and one of the most powerful tools in therapy is learning how to rewrite them.

That’s the heart of narrative therapy.

It allows us to step outside of our old, problem-saturated stories, examine them with curiosity, and decide what parts still serve us and which ones don’t. Rewriting our story to reflect our resilience, strengths, and values can be one of the most empowering ways to regain a sense of control—especially when life feels overwhelming.

So, let’s take a journey together. Step by step, I’ll walk you through how this process works, how we move from feeling lost and powerless to stepping fully into the role of author—the one who chooses what comes next.

The Story of You: A Journey Through Narrative Therapy at The Counseling Heart

Healing begins with the power of your own story. You may be carrying a narrative shaped by self-doubt, perfectionism, anxiety, or painful life transitions. Maybe you see yourself as not enough, as someone failing at life, or as permanently stuck in patterns you can’t break. But what if those narratives aren’t the full truth? What if, together, we could uncover a different story—one that reflects your strengths, resilience, and deepest values?

This is the heart of narrative therapy. It’s not about diagnosing or labeling. It’s about stepping into the role of an author, reclaiming your agency, and rewriting your story in a way that honors who you truly are. Here’s how we do it:

Phase 1: Externalizing the Problem – "You Are Not the Problem"

One of the first things I’ll say in our sessions is this:

"You are not the problem. The problem is the problem."

Let’s look at the hypothetical persona of Sarah, a high-achieving professional struggling with perfectionism and anxiety. She arrives in therapy believing she’s flawed—that her inability to “handle everything” means she’s failing. Through externalization, Sarah begins to see that perfectionism isn’t who she is—it’s something that influences her. It’s a force she can examine, question, and even challenge.

This shift in perspective is powerful. Instead of saying, “I am anxious,” Sarah might begin to say, “Anxiety has been showing up in my life and making things difficult.” That subtle difference creates space for self-compassion.

By naming the problem, describing it, or even turning it into a character, we strip it of its power to dictate identity.

Phase 2: Mapping the Influence – "How Has This Story Been Told?"

Once Sarah sees perfectionism as something separate from herself, we explore its impact:

• When did perfectionism first show up?

• How does it make its presence known? (Late-night overthinking, self-criticism, fear of disappointing others?)

• What does it take from her? (Peace, joy, confidence?)

Through this process, Sarah recognizes how deeply this narrative has shaped her experiences. But she also begins to see its patterns—how it exaggerates failures, minimizes wins, and keeps her from celebrating progress.

With warmth and curiosity (never judgment), we start identifying how this story has been written for her—and where she gets to take the pen back.

Phase 3: Identifying Unique Outcomes – "Noticing the Hidden Strengths"

Here’s where the magic happens.

As we trace the problem’s influence, Sarah starts to recall moments where she resisted its control. Maybe she once turned in a project without over-editing. Maybe she recently set a boundary, even though it felt terrifying. These moments—called unique outcomes—are proof that Sarah already has the capacity for change.

Together, we explore:

• What was different about that time?

• What strengths did you tap into?

• What does this say about who you truly are beneath the perfectionism?

When we shine a light on these hidden strengths, the story shifts. Sarah begins to see herself not as someone controlled by perfectionism, but as someone who has already shown resilience.

Phase 4: Re-authoring the Narrative – "Choosing a New Story"

Now comes the rewrite.

Instead of “I must be perfect to be worthy,” Sarah redefines her belief:

“I am worthy because of who I am, not just what I achieve.”

Instead of “I can’t handle failure,” she reframes it:

“Every challenge teaches me something valuable.”

Through storytelling, journaling, and guided reflection, we solidify this new narrative—not by ignoring struggles, but by ensuring they no longer define the entire story.

Phase 5: Re-membering – "Building a Supportive Cast"

A story isn’t written in isolation.

Re-membering (not remembering, but re-membering) is about choosing who and what belongs in our lives. For Sarah, this might mean fostering friendships that affirm her growth, setting boundaries with those who reinforce old patterns, and reconnecting with activities that bring her joy.

Together, we identify the relationships and influences that support her preferred story, helping her create a life of belonging and self-acceptance.

Phase 6: Documenting the Journey – "Your Story Matters"

Finally, we solidify the transformation. Some clients write letters to themselves, create vision statements, or receive a written reflection to reinforce their growth. These tangible reminders help anchor the shift.

For Sarah, this means leaving therapy not just with insight—but with an empowered story. One that allows her to move forward with confidence, self-compassion, and the tools to navigate future challenges.

Your Story Isn’t Over

Here, at The Counseling Heart, every story is honored. Whether you’re navigating anxiety, perfectionism, or a major life transition, you deserve to be seen for more than just your struggles.

Through narrative therapy, you can move from feeling stuck to feeling empowered—from being weighed down by your past to embracing your strengths.

Your story is still unfolding.

Let’s write the next chapter in a way that reflects who you truly are.

Come as you are. Your story matters.