Lately I’ve been ruminating on the different forms of grief and how it shows up in our lives. We feel it during most life transitions when–someone we love is dying, we change jobs, we move to other states, we don’t get the promotion or recognition we’ve been working so hard for, we lose meaningful relationships, etc. We then spend our time and energy trying to figure out what it all means. The feelings of loss are innumerable and happen every moment of every day to someone somewhere. What are the lessons to be learned (are there any), and what are we supposed to do next?

An REM video (filmed here in San Antonio in the 90s) plays in my head whenever I am grieving. The song is Everybody Hurts. I’ve watched it so many times and can vividly remember each person’s facial expression in the video. The mid-90s was a time of immeasurable grief in my life, just like today is for so many people now. How do we help ourselves and each other during these difficult moments?

In last week’s From the Heart entry on trust, I included a link to Brené Brown’s TED Talk on vulnerability. This morning, after realizing I didn’t write a post for this week, I opened my Spotify app and came upon a podcast I saved in April 2022. Serendipitously, it too was by Brené and featured Father Richard Rohr. Admittedly, I don’t remember saving it and couldn’t recall who Father Richard was, so I listened to Spirituality, Certitude, and Infinite Love, Part 1 of 2.

My brain became popcorn. So many kernels of truth were poured out and bounced around before bursting open with delicious goodness. In part 1, they describe a love which is incomprehensible to the mind and the expectation we have of certitude in life. We look for and demand answers to life’s uncertainties and injustices and what if we don’t find them?

Midway through the interview, Brené asks Father Richard, “What happens when you have faith and you squeeze vulnerability and mystery out of it? What is a certain faith?” He replied, “It’s useless as faith. It’s now another means for the ego to take control.” Don’t let your ego take control of your life.